


Broken

by MinMaxSpeech



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/F, No Butts Here, post-destroy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-20 01:23:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17612774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinMaxSpeech/pseuds/MinMaxSpeech
Summary: After Shepard had won the war with the Reapers, she wound up still spending almost all of her time on the Normandy. Whenever her girlfriend, Miranda, came, Shepard felt overjoyed. But, sometimes, she does still have her issues.She is only human, after all.





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after the Destroy ending. In this AU, Destroy did not kill all Synthetics, and instead simply wiped out Reaper code, so both EDI and the Geth are fine. This was done largely as an excuse to write a post-war fic with EDI alive, to be honest.

Miranda was visiting the Normandy. It was a remarkably common occurrence, whenever the Normandy docked at the Citadel, for the former Cerberus operative to spend at least some time on the ship. The entire crew had simply gotten used to seeing Miranda on the ship, on a similar level as seeing Garrus or Liara or Shepard.  
“Where’s Katrina?” Miranda inquired of Samantha, who was working at her terminal.  
“I think she’s in her room, Miranda. Why?” Samantha raised an eyebrow.  
“I want to see my girlfriend. Is that a crime?” Miranda inquired, a smirk growing on her features. Miranda and Katrina Shepard had been an item since Miranda’s time in Cerberus, and while Miranda enjoyed seeing the rest of the Normandy’s crew- particularly Tali and Garrus, it was patently obvious that her frequent visits were so she could spend time with her lover.  
“I wouldn’t call it that.” A familiar voice spoke up, from the lift behind Miranda. 

Commander Katrina Shepard stepped out of the lift, a small smile crossing her features as she looked over her girlfriend. Katrina simply donned her N7 Hoodie and Jeans, an attire the Commander seemed to wear more than any other. A glove covered her right hand- obscuring the prosthesis that had replaced her arm entirely. The commander’s hair was dyed a jet black, and tied back in a tight ponytail.  
“Hello, Katrina!” Miranda smiled. Samantha gave a small wave to the Commander. Miranda was acutely aware that Samantha had harboured a crush on Katrina for a time. She didn’t resent or feel any jealousy, however. Miranda did assist Samantha instead in asking out another on the Normandy. From everything Miranda had heard, Sam and Liara were remarkably happy together.

Katrina wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, holding Miranda close.  
“How’re you?” Katrina inquired of Miranda.  
“I’m doing well. Earning one’s pardon from the Alliance takes a great deal of work, it turns out.” Miranda smirked slightly.  
“I can just pardon you myself. Hackett owes me… a lot of favours.” Katrina noted.  
“No, I want to earn my forgiveness, not be given it because I’m dating a Spectre.” Miranda noted.  
“Still. I want you to be happy.” Shepard shrugged.  
“Don’t go behind my back on this, Katrina.” Miranda warned, gently pushing away from the Commander and crossing her arms over her chest as she did so. Katrina nodded.  
“Sorry.” Katrina’s jade hues looked away, worried that she had disappointed her girlfriend with her attempts to help her.  
“Don’t be sorry.” Miranda ordered.  
“Yes, ma’am.” Shepard gave Miranda a small smirk, one which Miranda reciprocated. Samantha shook her head slowly, turning back to her terminal to continue whatever work Miranda had interrupted. “C’mon. Let’s go to my room, we can talk there.” Shepard noted, taking Miranda’s hand in her own- the one that hadn’t been replaced by a prosthesis, Miranda observed. The two retreated into the lift together.

The lift took mere moments to reach the Captain’s quarters, and both women exited at the same time. Miranda, unlike Shepard, was not at all wearing her normal attire. While the skintight white suit drew the eye, it wasn’t exactly comfortable to wear for excessively long time periods- and since she had the funding to actually get a wardrobe, Miranda took full advantage of that. The operative was wearing a white leather jacket, a jet-black shirt, and black jeans. It was an attire that Katrina had bought for Miranda. The fact that the first clothes Shepard had bought since the start of the Reaper war were not even for her own use was something that Miranda found both bizzare and cute.

Plus, Miranda discovered that she looked good in a leather jacket, which was a nice surprise. 

Katrina flopped down upon her bed, a smile glowing upon her face. Miranda simply sat down next to her girlfriend.  
“I never asked, how have you been?” Miranda inquired. A small shrug was her answer from Katrina. “Come on… You’ll need to actually tell me stuff, honey.”  
“I’ve been doing decently. Nothing particularly interesting has happened recently, all I’ve had to keep myself busy- aside from the occasional job from Hackett or the Council- has been getting used to this damn arm.” Shepard gestured to her right limb, a small look of distaste crossing her features.  
“I never asked. Why do you not like that arm?” Miranda inquired. She had built that arm to be as realistic as possible for Shepard, and Katrina seemed to at best hide the arm, and at worst, actively dislike it. 

Shepard let out a soft sigh, quickly discarding her hoodie and her glove. The arm was clearly a prosthesis- the joints were noticeably mechanical, and no matter how realistic Miranda could make it look, it was unable to perfectly match all the little marks that Shepard would have gathered on her arm over the years.  
“It makes me look like I’m damaged. Like there’s something wrong with me.” Katrina turned her eyes away from Miranda. “I dunno… Every time I look at it, I feel like I’m just damaged goods.”  
“But you’re not.” Miranda spoke.  
“I feel like I am. Look at you! You’re beautiful, in every single way. And then there’s me. Covered in scars, missing an arm. All I did for you was help you with your sister… You brought be back from the dead twice. There are times when I just feel like you’re too good for me.” Katrina spoke lowly. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Why do you think I wouldn’t love you? Is it just cuz you got hurt?” Miranda inquired.  
“I compare myself to you. I’ve been broken- multiple times- and each time you were the one to put me back together. You’re perfect, in every single conceivable way. I look at myself, and I just… feel like I’m broken, in comparison.” Shepard mused. “Even our jobs. You and Ori are working as fucking Intelligence. I’m a gun that the Council and the Alliance use to wipe out things they don’t like.”

Miranda paused for a second, before choosing her response carefully  
“Shepard. Do you remember Horizon? When we were both chasing Father?” Shepard didn’t answer vocally, but did nod, “You saved my life twice over in one day, there. If you didn’t warn me about Leng, he’d have cut me into pieces. And if you didn’t help me in stopping my Father…. Who knows what would have happened?”  
“But then you were the one to give us the means of finding the Illusive Man and ending this damn war. If it wasn’t for you, the Reapers would have won.”  
“Coming from the woman who killed all of them, that’s a little comedic.” Miranda observed, “But think. Why are you comparing yourself to me?”  
“I… I don’t know. I just do.” Katrina confessed. Miranda paused for a second.  
“Sit up.” She gently instructed. 

It took a moment, but the Commander arose, Katrina’s jade hues meeting Miranda’s. Miranda’s hands found their way to Katrina’s prosthetic one, grasping it and lifting it up.  
“You’re saying you feel like you’re broken. To be honest, there was a lot of time, where I felt like I was… something unattainable. That what my father had given me, with those perfect genetics, was all I was. That I was less a person, and more of just a slave, caught in whoever’s machine needed me. The Illusive Man helped me in hiding Oriana, but you were the one that saved her. Saved me. You talk about how I’m perfect, but that’s not how I feel. 

I… I know I’m imperfect. I’m a fundamentally flawed human, always will be. I try to be more personable, less harsh, but it still comes through. Years of practice is hard to suddenly break out of. But do you want to know the reason I’m even like this now? It’s you. If you want to call yourself broken, or defective, I don’t like it, but I can’t stop you. But one thing I can do is make sure that you know that I love you. I will always love you. Having a robot arm doesn't mean that I won’t love you.

I love you because you’re sweet. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met. For a long time, I felt like I was little more than genetics and looks. Like there was nothing about me that was… me. You were the one to help me realise that those aren’t what matter, but the person inside is. So stop looking at that arm and think you’re broken. You’re not broken. You’re loved.” Miranda spilled out, holding Katrina’s hand in her own. 

It took a moment for Katrina to process everything that Miranda had said. Miranda could see that Katrina was thinking- although she couldn’t guess what.  
“Miranda…” Katrina spoke quietly.  
“Yes?” Miranda responded, not releasing her hold on Shepard’s hand. The Commander’s lips curled into a smile.  
“I’m not even sure what to say, to be honest. I… I love you.” Shepard moved forwards, hugging Miranda and holding her close. “I can’t promise I’ll stop immediately, but I’ll try. I promise. For you.”  
“Don’t do it for me.” Miranda implored. “Do it for yourself. I’ll love you whether you’re a bit self-destructive or not. But I do want you to be happy.”  
“Deal.” Katrina nodded, giving Miranda a short kiss.

The door to the lift opened once more, with both Katrina and Miranda stepping out. Katrina had discarded the glove that obscured her prosthesis. Samantha turned to observe the pair.  
“You’re both clothed as you were before.” She observed.  
“Yep. Do you want a medal for that, Holmes?” Katrina snarked. Both Miranda and Samantha let out short laughs. “Did you forget your glove?” Samantha pointed at Katrina’s hand.  
“No, why?” Katrina raised an eyebrow.  
“I just wondered. I don’t think I’ve seen you without one on that hand since you got back to the Normandy.” Samantha noted.  
“I’m going to be forgoing that, for now on. Miranda… convinced me.” Katrina spoke.  
“You look better like that.” Samantha smiled. “I do have to work, though. Forgive me.” 

Samantha returned to her terminal once again, and Miranda shot Shepard an inquisitive look.  
“I told you I didn’t like to see it, didn’t I?” Katrina shrugged. Miranda gave a short nod.  
“You may have to get used to seeing it, honey.” Miranda gave Shepard a gentle kiss.  
“Maybe…. But I think I still prefer looking at you.” Katrina whispered. Miranda’s lips curled into a small smirk.  
“I dread to think what you’ll do when I return to the Citadel.” Miranda mused.  
“I’ll be good. I promise. Even if EDI has to give you daily updates on me, I promise that I won’t go that bad again.” Katrina whispered. “EDI doesn’t give you daily updates on me already, does she?”  
“More like hourly!” Miranda snarked. The sound of Shepard’s laugh filled the CQC. 

Miranda felt exceptionally happy to see the Commander in as good a mood as she was in. Sure, the Commander was a little broken, but so was everyone. All the little bits of damage… Those were there. But there was so much more, so many little perfections that only Miranda could see in the Commander. The operative was the first to confess that nobody was perfect. But perhaps Miranda’s girlfriend did come closest.

And Miranda absolutely loved that.


End file.
